Thursday 21 November 2013

Le Movie Terrible

My friends took me to watch Insidious Two
A movie they told me would be fun
I can honestly say, having experienced it,
A more clichéd movie, there is none

Over acting and long pauses galore
They dragged along a nonexistent plot
All the way to an end which was
Even more ridiculous than I originally thought

Every door in the movie seemed to be creaking
And most opened of their own volition
For a moment, they build up some semblance of story
The next hour, it descends into a farcical demolition

A scary voiced kid, a truant mother
A victim wife and her significant other
Characters from every bad movie ever made
No originality in these "directors" plying their trade

The one scary scene in the whole movie
Was in the trailer when an ugly woman cried
The rest of the night I was on the floor laughing
To me, it was the day horror died

Hitchcock must be turning in his grave
To see such abhorrences be applauded
The field of artistic horror is ruined
The honor of past movies maurauded

I walked out of the hall disappointed
I had foolishly hoped for atleast some fun
But all I got was ripped off scenes
That remain eternally overdone

I turn as ever, for relief in these times
To my everpresent master, and write her rhymes
For even at the eve of a day that was wasted
If I write a good rhyme, i have victory tasted

So tell me master, have I done thee proud
I ask thee solemnly, head bowed
Should I be happy or sad about today
Your reply shall return my frown or send it forever away

2 comments:

  1. What a great idea for a poem. Wish all movie reviews were like this.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, sir. Movie reviews would get more interesting this way, i agree, but i wish the movies themselves would get better too.

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