Monday, 29 December 2014

Idle Time

Studio order line, would you like to place an order?
I am unable to hear you, maam, please speak a little louder
Have you shopped with Studio or Ace before?
I'm sorry, we don't take payments over the phone anymore

You misplaced your account number, may I take your postcode please?
You live offshore, you will have to pay an offshore carriage fees
May I have your address and full name for confirmation
Thank you, Mrs Smith, for the information

Now, Mrs. Smith, may I take the first item number
This item will be delivered by the 26th of December
The next item you ordered is a clutch bag with flip lock
I'm terribly sorry, the item is temporarily out of stock

Is that all? Well, before you go, may I say
We have some special offers for you today
We have a pack of twenty batteries for two pounds ninety nine
Shall I order five packs for you? Not interested? That's fine.

We also have a superbike turnover calender for you
And one last question before I send your order through
Would you be interested in a further 10% discount
It will cost you forty pence per week on your account

Not interested again, Mrs Smith? That's fine
Thank you for calling Studio order line

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Contempt

How fleeting this world to me
How insignificant its ambition
How vain its proud flattery
Of heaven and damnation

I blink and you have passed
From glory into nothingness
Your race is run, your die cast
Only I remain, nothing else

I exist, like the Cosmos, from the very start
I witness events both glorious and infernal
In the chaotic melodies I embed my heart
And give my love to all that is eternal

You put your faith in a collective lie
You exist, you suffer, and then you die
Tell me, mortal, what need have I
My contempt for you to justify?

Saturday, 20 December 2014

Adieu

The Earth's poles may make a handsome pair
But they're destined for separation from the start
Their unity results only in widespread despair
Harmony exists only when they're apart

God, Fate, Nature, all to me seem to say
Your story will end in naught but tears
For I am the night, and you the day
We are opposing hemispheres

Let us attain the heights that we can
Let us on our individual lives embark
Let us remember this day, when we began
Our orbit, albeit in separate arcs

I cannot be altered, this alone I must be
And I would never wish for you to change
I have my wings too, let me fly free
I must find mine, and you your range

Onwards, my friend, scale your peaks
And know that I'll always pray for you;
To you not my brain, but my heart speaks
And with these words, it bids thee a fond adieu

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Waiting for Lethe

As I lay stricken, the evening sun streamed through the window, the only source of light in my swiftly darkening room. The light fell upon a pile of dirty clothes. Nature itself was bent on showing me my ineptitude, it seemed.

I glanced around in the gloom. I could see the layers of dust lying on my bookshelf, proof of weeks of neglect. My books, my most worthy possessions, even they were not exempt from my neglect, from my laziness. If I could not find time for even them, what purpose did I serve by living? I had no friends. I was not made for friendship. And those few that possessed the tolerance to cure me of my solitude, I had successfully managed to repel and repulse with my impossible expectations. I constantly demanded perfection of them while maintaining that I owed them nothing in return. It was only now -    lying crippled as I was with no hope of recovery – that I realized that I did not want friends. Indeed, quite the opposite. I wanted mirrors. Everywhere I sought after what I already had within myself. I wished to see myself reflected back to me. And those that did it best, I called my friends.

Tell me, is there any purer form of self love?

I snorted in disgust at myself. There is no easier way to change a stubborn man’s opinion than to place him on his own deathbed and to leave him in solitary contemplation. The death bed is a curious entity. It somehow encapsulates both a space and a fragment of time. Once in that capsule, no matter how pliant or rigid his beliefs heretofore, the death bed renders man’s mind a clean slate. Every single value he has held as worthy will come under the most severe scrutiny in his final moments. It is no surprise that man oft wishes for a swift and unexpected death. It is not, as is commonly believed, because man is afraid of the pain he will face. Oh, no, no. Mankind has a much higher tolerance for pain than he himself wants to believe. But it is this questioning of beliefs that he wants to avoid. Every man subconsciously knows that he cannot be one hundred percent sure of the righteousness of his beliefs. He may have stood sturdy as a pillar, immovable in his faith in that ideal, but in those final moments, he cannot help but think, “What if I am wrong?” All activities he carries out before his death are a desperate attempt to conceal this doubt.

Well, this phenomena happens to the best of men. What chance did I stand?

Every noble cause I had propagated, every high morality I had preached, seemed hollow and superficial to me now. Only one prospect loomed large, towering over every other concept, dwarfing every other thought in profundity, whether physical or metaphysical. The prospect of final annihilation.

When man travels along the edge of the precipice of the abyss, when he sees nothing before him but a vast, unconquerable, insurmountable, impenetrable darkness -  when he is struck by the knowledge that he will inevitably topple over and descend into that horrific unknown  - how is he expected not to spend every moment preceding that in mortal dread of exactly that occurrence? It is the greatest feat of our subconscious that we are allowed to live our lives more or less ignorant of the magnitude of the fear that really resides within all of us. But at the very end of the journey, just when we need it the most, our subconscious gives way. It succumbs to the overpowering torrent of fear that reawakens at the sight of the abyss. And the torrent, building in pressure over a whole lifetime, sweeps all other emotions before it and deposits them unceremoniously into the dark recesses of our mind. They become the flotsam and jetsam of the mind, the unwanted residue that takes up space and pollutes the waters. Our mind is working overtime at this point, trying to fathom what it cannot. Trying to grasp what is not tangible. A person is the wisest he has ever been right before he dies.

Such was my state. Even as the final rays of the sun flickered out and my room was shrouded in darkness, I felt a chill creep up my spine. I stared at the dark shadow of the door, half expecting to see Death walk in through the gloom. I was ready, that’s for sure, as ready as I would ever be. I had stagnated, and I counted myself amongst the lucky one’s who did not have to see themselves degenerate into mediocrity, but who would perish pretty much at their peak.

However, my mind refused to lie still. It sensed, just as I did, that its time was up. But it did not choose the path of “dignified repose” as I had often dreamt it would during my morbid musings about my own end. On the contrary, it seemed determined to cram in a lifetime of thinking within these last few moments.

It flitted instantaneously back to my childhood, my incredibly pampered upbringing. It dragged from the dregs of my memory the image of the young, innocent, scared little boy whose whole universe was his family and who neither dreamt nor wished to dream of anything outside the realm of his relatives. Those same relatives who today did not know of his whereabouts or his state. The same family that had become estranged and had not spoken or indeed attempted to speak to him in years.

It highlighted, much to my discomfort, the irony that it was my own family that had pushed me to grow wings of my own. Where I would have been happy to lie safe in the nest for the rest of my life, my parents and siblings decided that it would not do, I needed to grow up, I needed to be responsible, I needed to be a man. Well, once shunted down that path, I can at least say to my credit that the job was well done. Too well done, it seems. Now, at the end, I look back and find no one to weep for me.

In the words of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein:
The path to my departure is free. There are none to lament my annihilation.

 Glorious independence indeed!

Night has fallen, and still I wait,
I wait patiently for Death,
For the waters of Lethe to satiate
My heart, to let my brain forget
The woeful tale that life narrates
From birth until my dying breath

As the darkness grew absolute and I seemed to exist in nothingness, my mind took the opportunity to jump to more profound topics. What, for instance, is the best way to go about life? Should one be fearless, Hedonistic, Hellenistic, Moralistic, Amoralistic, Nihilistic or – and I shuddered at the prospect -  is ignorance the path to a happy life? What if the philosopher on the ivory tower, searching the skies for any hint of treasures, misses out precisely because his eyes are turned upwards? Those lowlies whose eyes, and indeed whose beings are forever in the filth, may one day while frolicking about happen upon the treasure that lay concealed beneath the filth.

I chided myself for allowing my mind to wander into such dangerous areas. This line of thought threatened to invert my whole sphere of existence. And normally I used to place myself at the head of the sphere, at the top. If I were wrong, and if it were in fact inverted, then that would mean…

No. It would not do to think this way.

What was the time? How long had I been lying here? Why was I still living? Would Life wait till I had completely exhausted every possible outcome of every possible question before it finally left me? Is that what Death is, the exhaustion of all possible thoughts from the human mind? Does that make reality solely dependent on the functioning of the collective consciousness?

What did these musings have to do with me? Nothing and everything, it seemed. The beauty of universal questions had struck me many times in my lifetime, however their downside was only just beginning to make itself known. Universal questions, as the name suggested, applied to everyone, but because of that very reason, also applied to no one. There was no way to make a universal question an individual one without perverting its meaning. And this close to the end, I had neither the patience nor the inclination to consider the fate of anyone else in existence but myself.

The dogs howl outside my window in a ferocious lament. They know what is coming as well as I, those wonderfully instinctive creatures! How my heart craves to howl with them, How I wish to give vent, to share my final thoughts with the world, so that I may leave some semblance of my existence in the memory of people. The frightful tower looms before me again, it seems doubled in size and menace. The prospect of my annihilation now took on a more terrifying form. It dawned on me that my solitude had allowed my every trace to be removed. I spoke to no one, and so no one would remember me. When I died, my death would be reported, recorded, investigated, dismissed, filed, classified and put away in a drawer. My whole life would be reduced to a label on a file that would never be opened again. In short, oblivion.

I weep. Breaking every promise I had made myself all my life, I weep. What is man’s will in the face of such unquestionable challenges? Some may possess the strength, though I personally doubt it, however I say without any shame whatsoever, that I have been reduced to a quivering mass of flesh. Death scares me. Oblivion scares me. Nothingness scares me. It seems to me that even the Biblical hell would be a relief to me now. At least I would exist! If not anyone else in the Universe, at least I would have myself to speak to, to feel for, to pity!

Bah! Look at me. The man who did not believe in God, who did not believe in the existence of a soul, here I lie, retching, vomiting, wishing for hell, fulfilling my own prophetic self comparisons to Faustus to a degree which I myself would never have expected.

The shadow of the door, lost long since to the darkness, suddenly becomes slightly discernible again. My eyes blink, doubtfully, searching through the dark to get its bearings. It is the door indeed. What can this mean?

A cock crows. Dawn is come!

As the light slowly fills the room, bringing to life one by one objects that I had bid farewell to for all eternity, my heart is overcome. It is overladen with horror, fear, misery and bitterness.

Dawn! A new day! Death had not arrived. Accursed wretch! To condemn me to another day of existence! What sins had I committed to warrant such a fate? Why must I be consigned to live and relive my whole life in my mind over and over again? Was one lifetime not enough?

As always, when a soul cried out in profound grief, the Gods remained silent.

I would have to live through another day. Another day of torment, lying in wait. Waiting for Lethe.

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Aeternum Bellum

Over the ages, over the course of history, over the course of life on this planet, there has been only one constant. War. It began at the minutest level, on a cellular level. The first single celled organism, finding nothing else to wage war against, turned upon itself and tore itself into two. Today, we call it reproduction. It was merely, in fact, the cell obeying the eternal law. If you live, you war.

As life evolved, so did the forms of war. Life came into contact with life. Both were subject to the same laws, both must war. And so it was inevitable, in fact, it is surprising that it took as long as it did, for life to begin its war against its counterparts. There developed a different kind of organism. One that needed another’s life to be sacrificed in order to keep on living. This branching off had seismic repercussions. We may trace our Warring instincts’ lineage directly through the ravages of time all the way to this crucial point. From this organism developed the herbivore, then the carnivore, and at last, the all-consuming omnivore. Everything that lived was eventually locked into an eternal chain of predator-prey, predator-prey. This dynamic shaped not only the direction of the organism’s evolution, but along with it shaped the very landscape of this planet. The world as we know it would not exist if this unquenchable drive for war was not omnipresent in all of existence.

But here, Life pulled out a wonderful weapon. It turned this very instinct to its advantage. It had bided its time, waiting for exactly the right moment to stage its ambush, and when the moment arrived, what a marvel it was to behold! A coup that Napoleon or Hannibal or even Genghis Khan would have been proud to claim as his own. Life used War for progress. It turned the instinct for war into a disinfectant. It used War to weed out the weak, to cleanse the species of its freaks. It had discovered “natural selection.” Where War strove for destruction, it found it was only strengthening Life. The strong, now freed from the burden of the weak, bounded ever faster and higher, dodging death nimble footed wherever they went. The species accelerated their evolution, and Life flourished. A masterstroke executed to perfection.

The Warring instinct found itself at war. It had met a worthy foe at last. It was at war with Life. A war that, as yet, shows neither indication nor inclination of ending. Aeternum Bellum.

Up until now, the whole of war was based upon two base instincts, sustenance and reproduction. Even up until man was yet a caveman, in the Palaeolithic era, it was still these same two drives that did the donkey work for the Warring instinct. But here, a novelty made its appearance. Life sensed its own position of dominance and sought to finish off the Warring instinct. And thus, Life produced Reason.

At its inception, it still served merely as a tool to ease the acquisition of sustenance and to achieve reproduction. It was not an open threat to the warring instinct. Life observed gleefully as Reason slowly but surely worked its magic over our species. We began using tools, building shelters, forming clans, developing social systems, languages, identities. We started transcending bestial behavior. Within no time at all, or so it seemed, we had risen so far above the rest of evolution that we had managed to banish the insecurity that was the root cause and loyal agent of both manifestations of the Warring instinct. Man had almost completely removed the risk involved in his obtaining food. He had escaped the fatal dual dynamic of predator-prey. And man had also developed his social system to a point where a feud over a female did not always result in a physical confrontation. Indeed all forms of physical confrontations came to be branded as evil. And War being the most sublime forms of confrontations, it was by default viewed as the most sublime form of evil. Life had thus dealt a double blow. It had kicked War while it was down, and dealt it what some may call overkill.

One may at this point be wondering just why War sat quietly gazing on while Life leaped from strength to strength, developing and perfecting its techniques over millions of years. One may even assume that Life had broken the Warring spirit. Life had triumphed after all. If you thought that, you certainly were not alone. Life itself shared your view, and flourished and multiplied with all the pomp of a new King spraying the contents of his treasury to his peasants.

Nay, you do dishonor to the immortality(and also, immorality) of War if you so blindly narrow its scope. War was not dead. War cannot be, as long as Life exists.

What Life had in exuberance and gusto, it lacked in experience. What Life failed to realize is it was at war with War. It was playing at a game that it was not suited for. It may have won some battles and put up a respectable show, but it was up against a veteran, an expert. One whose entire existence centered around this interplay of predator and prey.

War managed to execute an inversion of such exactitude that the phenomena would pretty much define the concept of poetic justice for the rest of eternity.

It watched, reservedly, as Reason blunted its two most potent weapons, hunger and lust. It suffered the ignominy of being branded as impotent by Life, and it still held its silence. If Life had not by now been bloated with arrogance, it would have found the silence of its opponent disconcerting. What weapon did War possess that allowed it to stand almost nonchalant in the face of Life’s burgeoning display?

It had foresight.

Mankind, spurred on by the ideal of Life and Reason, forgot one key fact. War was a big reason it had reached this point in the first place. Life itself could not flourish without War. When Reason elevated itself to the point where it exiled War from its domain, it unwittingly removed its antibody. Life had lost its disinfectant.

At first, Life exploded with all the jubilance of an animal freed from a cage. Everywhere, progress, no longer hampered by destruction, accelerated to an almost almighty pace. Technology overtook everything and transported man into a world which he himself could not have imagined a mere century ago. New cultures, new ideologies, new beliefs, new philosophies sprang up all over the place. Mankind had conquered the Earth.

But Man was not ready for these heights. He was an untimely occupant of the throne and his stomach was not strong enough. When Man was under the influence of the Warring instinct, he was by necessity hardened, strong, weather beaten, almost invincible. Since the banishment or, to use a religious term, the exodus of the Warring instinct, Man had lost his skill for self preservation. He had gone soft. The body, rid of its antibodies, was now vulnerable to any form of disease.

Disease and stagnation indeed struck Man, and with an almighty blow at that. The origin of Reason was at core a reaction against the Warring instinct. As such, its essence consisted of an ideology that was antithetical to War. The only philosophy that could possibly emanate from that core was the idea of everybody having a “right to life”.

This, then was the masterful inversion that War pulled off. Life had used the Warring instinct to make War work to Life’s benefit, using it to clean away the weak or the flawed while Life itself went from strength to strength. Now War, by removing itself completely, and indeed encouraging Life on its path, set in motion a sequence of events that we are still living out now.

What War foresaw was this:

Life, even at its best, produces a mass of herd consciences, or undermen, and only a smattering of leaders, or Overmen. By preventing War from culling the worst of the undermen, indeed, by preserving and enhancing the breed of the undermen under the guise of charity, Life had tipped the scale completely over to the undermen’s side. They now ran free, larger in number and louder in voice than all of the Overmen.  Formerly, it was the Overmen, guided by the light of Reason, who had successfully kept War at bay. The intricate balance that exists between freedom and prudence was maintained with much difficulty and force of will. However, with the onslaught of undermen in ever rising tides, the Overmen had eventually to give way. This epoch was called Democracy.

How War cackled in glee when he heard this term!

Democracy was the victory of decay, of diminishment, of the process of becoming mediocre and of the loss of values. And it was celebrated as the pinnacle of civilization! Ah, the irony!

Before long the suicidal path that Life had set itself on, hand in hand with Reason, began to show its true colors. The undermen claimed equality with the Overmen. And since the undermen were greater in number, this essentially put the Overmen out of commission in every Democracy.

The herd.

One does not give them the name lightly. Their behavior indeed indicated a form of atavism. The herd mentality aped the bestial behavior that Reason had labored so long to transcend. They had reverted to type. They had become animals again.

This, War foresaw, and this was what it was waiting for. When all of mankind was degenerate enough, when the morality and ideology of mankind had become so disease ridden that it could no longer muster up a spirited resistance, War revealed itself in a new avatar, and stepped back into the arena.

Hunger and lust had failed War. It now took up new minions. Where its predecessors had succeeded due to the element of necessity (both food and reproduction are essential pillars of existence), the new minions of War achieved unprecedented amounts of success with possibly the simplest method of all: Overwhelming the opposition with numbers.

War, the wily General, identified the Overmen as the greatest threat to its cause, and directed the will of the undermen to oppose them. Wherever, on Earth, an Overman arose, he was countered by multitudes, literally droves of undermen bent on nothing else but to quell his glory. Overmen were being singled out and destroyed, picked apart by the ruthless, thoughtless mob. Life teetered on the brink of the abyss. War watched on impassively, the hint of a smirk on its face.

But then one of those queer incidents took place that, though insignificant in themselves, and by no means unique, end up influencing the entire course of history.

In a country where the herd instinct had found its true home, the whole populace of which identified themselves with the “virtues” of discipline and obedience, there existed an Overman. In physique and in health, he was far from superior; however his intellect towered not only above the herd, but even the other Overmen, whether in history or posterity. This Overman, grimacing in disgust at being forced to witness the degeneration of mankind from a civilized species, back into an anarchic beast, encountered a force that had remained hidden from the battlefield of War and Life. The force had only been discovered at all because of the invention of Reason. A force that neither War nor Life had reckoned with, and consequently, neither knew the potential of. The Overman met Idea.

Influenced, almost compelled by this new force, the Overman gave shape to the idea. The Idea that was invisible to all but him till now, was suddenly accessible to the whole world.

The profundity, the elevated nature, and sheer brilliance of the Idea shook War out of its stupor. Dismayed at the force of will of this new opponent, it bent all its energies into destroying the source. It turned upon that greatest of Overmen. The herds gnashed their teeth and stamped their hooves and champed at the bit. They railed and protested and picketed and rioted. They ostracized, stigmatized, terrorized, falsified, calumnized. Not even the Overman could withstand such a relentless torrent. His intellect, stubborn in the face of this unstoppable force, finally broke, and the Overman spent his last years in an asylum. Nietzsche had been overcome.

But what’s this? The Idea still remains? The mob, spurred on by the accumulated confidence of their successes, unites as one to wipe Idea off the face of the Earth, but try as they might, they cannot lay a hand on it. They have nothing to swing their swords at, nothing to set their torches to. Nothing tangible. The Idea was a concept in the mental sphere. The herd by definition had no inclination towards mental exercises. It was a foreign and inaccessible land, and they stood there, helpless.

War bellowed with rage, it turned man upon man, herd upon herd, culture upon culture, community upon community. Everywhere mankind turned, he was engaged in a battle of some form. Destruction and chaos reigns. Out of the blue, Nature, the spectator aeternum, finally weighed in. With one fell swoop, all of Creation was brought down to its knees. The Earth, tilted on its axis, almost as a head bowed in reverent shame. A lesson learnt. Life slunk away back to the depths of the oceans and the recluse of hidden caves. War stood supreme, serene, surveying the landscape, or what was left of it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amongst the rubble, a single boy stirred. He gazed, dumbfounded, at the spectacle he beheld. His whole world, the only world he knew of, had ceased to exist. All that remained were haunting remnants and morbid memories. Weeping with grief, he scoured the landscape that spelled only oblivion.

Why had he survived? What was his purpose? Was there even any such thing as purpose? Was not everything that mankind had ever worked for taken away by their own stupidity? Was mankind’s biggest mistake the fact that they assumed life had a meaning?

He collapsed onto the dusty marble floor, the remnant of some grandiose structure no doubt. Leaning his back against a crumbling wall, he quaked in fear and remorse. Fear of losing his sense of existence and identity, and remorse for the lunacy of his species. Of such vastness was the emotion he felt.

And there, right before him, it lay. Covered in soot, hardly recognizable and obscured even further by his streaming tears, lay the book. Slowly, almost mechanically, he picked it up and swept the dust off its cover.

The title read, "Freidrich Nietzsche - Beyond Good and Evil"

He opened the book and began to read. And thus in the boy of fifteen, the Idea was brought alive again.

Friday, 12 December 2014

The Voodoo Doll

Was the Deius first personified
Or a man first made a Deity
Did I have to know that mankind lied?
Just as all seemed fine and I'm pain free
Jab another pin, jab another pin in me

Is love the sole aim of our lives
The goal of all humanity
Is it just I to whom this seems contrived?
Just as all seemed fine and I'm pain free
Jab another pin, jab another pin in me

What happens once a man lies perished
What proof exists of the soul's divinity
Why must I outgrow everything I've cherished?
Just as all seemed fine and I'm pain free
Jab another pin, jab another pin in me

Who flies with me those airy heights
Where none but the strongest eyes can see
Must there be a passenger to every flight?
Just as all seemed fine and I'm pain free
Jab another pin, jab another pin in me

They tell us of man's fall from grace
When he ate off the Forbidden tree;
What? Ignorance to take honour's place?
Just as all seemed fine and I'm pain free
Jab another pin, jab another pin in me

Give me the serpent, give me the fruit
Give me wisdom, Give me the tree
What care I if you don't follow suit?
Hark, human! I am the picture of serenity
Do your pins the honour, jab another one in me

Friday, 5 December 2014

Rukhsheen



Paradise is lost, t’is oft claimed

Morality withered and honor maimed

The tree of life, once stately and proud

Now wears its morbid blackened shroud




As far as my tired eye can see,

There lies evidence of humanity

Naught strikes my view but desolation

Fiery, fiendish, fatal conflagration




But hark! Amongst this desert bare

I hear a voice, “Halt! Who goes there?

What voice lilts thus above the din?

Show yourself, Sorcerer, whatever guise you’re in.”




Behold! The darkness, where has it gone

Whence comes this light, riding swift upon

That chariot of Heavenly light that brings

Fair countenance to the most foul of things




Sand and dust, under her brief toil

Is transformed into the most fertile soil

And the seeds that are planted therin

Rival Eden, indeed the two worlds are akin




T’was not so, how then, it comes to be

That from the very brink of insanity

A fair hand pulls me back into the light

And makes a fool of this Faustian erudite?




I bow to thee, fair muse, contrite

I prithee, by thine divine light

Guide this fool as thou hath often done

Chase away the night, be my sun




The world seems like a less scary place

When I see you and your smiling face

Sunday, 23 November 2014

Man and Cockroach

A man was once unduly accosted
By some cockroaches in human form
His words had their cool shell defrosted
And they rose together, in an angry swarm

A flood of words and outrage reigned
"How dare this human wield his Truth!"
Their countenance withered, expression pained
They railed against his injustice, forsooth!

"T'is true we survived the meteor
But we are yet roaches, let us be
Truth brings out our very deepest fear
Strike us not with thine minstrelsy"

But humans are eternally proud creatures
Condescension is their forte
Bovarism reigns supreme amongst their features
And elegant, witty repartee

"Should I let them crawl," thought he
"They are, after all, just roaches
Nay, I'll turn my wrath upon thee
Look, roach! Day of judgement approaches!

I am the court, the Justice Supreme
I will hold the Spanish Inquisition
Blink not, this is no evil dream
This is your demolition

Write, if you can, words this fair
Or else speak not of originality
Crawl back to your sewers in despair
I am a poet, and this is poetry

Monday, 17 November 2014

The Telepathy of Two Lovelorn Souls

It all began with one of those curious coincidences. The kind that make you believe that there is no such thing as a coincidence.

Usman ascended the stairs to his college, just like any other day of the week, brimming with confidence. This was his domain. This was where he shone. In this arena, he was King.

A Dr. Faustus not yet damned to hell, that was how he viewed himself. And not even the Marlovian hero could match the sense of self importance that inflated Usman’s chest as he surveyed all those around him with the smug smirk of superiority.

He had just given a presentation. A presentation on a novel he detested. A novel he considered so beneath him, he hadn’t honoured it with more than a cursory read-over. And his presentation touched levels of sublimity that astounded even his professor. Thus, pride boosted ever higher, Usman strode with all the pomp of Napoleon marching into Italy’s capital just fifteen days after the invasion had commenced.

“Usman…”

He stumbled. He knew that voice. He would know it anywhere. It was her, it was Amin. The most delicate tinkle of Chopin’s piano would sound jarring to his ears after the tenderness he experienced in that one word. That one, halting, faltering utterance by which she beckoned to him. It sounded as if it came from the most perfect chord ever struck on the harp of Angel Gabriel in the ninth heaven. Even hours later, the melody that was her voice resonated in his ears, which had begun to burn a fiery red.

 His proud gait crumpled instantaneously, his smirk vanished and suddenly each of his limbs behaved as a foreign object each with a mind of its own. This was most certainly not his domain. In the arena of love, he was very much the lowly peasant.

  He gazed around reluctantly, his brain furiously searching for the appropriate facial expression to arrange his face into. But try as it might, his face remained rigid, dumbstruck, Bambi like.

“Yes?”, he asked breathlessly.

And then came the moment. Her reply. One of those moments that lovers of literature have learnt only to expect when reading the high poetry of Shakespeare and have learnt never to expect from life. One of those moments when a simple human speech takes flight and soars to such dizzying heights that the bystander is left questioning his own sanity and the authenticity of what he has just experienced.

O! Misery! As if her voice were not sweet enough, as if his heart did not choke with an overflow of honey at the very hint of the trembling voice her feminine lungs forced forth. As if it was not ordeal enough for him to rein in his passion, his overpowering, overbearing, overwhelming lust for her at the sound of her voice alone. But now the voice that so ruthlessly marauded his heart came back with reinforcements. It arrived with heavy artillery to back it up. It arrived with poetry.

Sweet poetry, as thou burst forth from Amin’s angelic lips
Did’st thou spare a thought for this weakling heart
Whose world thou hast set alight in terrible eclipse
Whose sinews of reality thou hast rent apart?

Such power in words he had not heard, not in the learned attacks of Nietzsche, nor in the passionate discourses of Adolf Hitler. They were words darker than the observations of Oscar Wilde. Be it the unrequited love of Faiz, the dark and disturbed wit of Ghalib, the passionate overflow of Beethoven’s anger or the morbid serenity in the gnossiennes of Erik Satie, none could match the depth and fervour of her words. And yet, they were not fancy words. Not in a language tough to decipher in the manner of Spinoza or a Darwin. They were not words so removed from reality that they remained irrelevant like the words of Lao Tse. They were not words that travelled in circles, round and round until they made you dizzy like the evasive arguments of Socrates or Plato. They were words so beautiful and so apt, that he would not have been surprised if the universe’s entire existence up until then had been staged solely to set up this particular situation so that these particular words could be said at this particular moment.

“Could you explain the meaning of proliferate?”, she asked, gazing at him, “Actually, could you explain this whole chapter to me? I’m having a little trouble with my Cultural Studies paper.”

Usman stood frozen, stricken by the beauty of the words, their glorious interplay and hidden meanings. The delicious suggestive subtext. Was there nothing this Temptress could not do? Nay, she is not Amin. Aphrodite reincarnate, that is her true guise.

Neither Da Vinci’s portrait’s mystery
Nor Mozart’s operatic hell
Nor Geoffrey Tempest’s Demonic spree
Nor Black Sabbath’s satanic bell
Can compare for a moment, to Sweet Amin
They are but minions to her, the Glorious Queen

He was afraid, mortally afraid, to meet her eyes. The same fear a zebra feels when it crosses a river. Knowing that crocodiles lurk beneath, but knowing it has no other choice but to cross anyway. His eyes met hers, and he felt the shivers travel all the way down his spine. Even the immortal lines of the Beatles describing one “getting the thrill through the fingertips” seemed slightly underwhelming. What wells of despair, what rivers of melancholy she withheld behind that hardened external cornea?


I see the depth of her love for me within her pining eyes
And its glint that reminds one of long forgotten tears
I see her quivering lip and the silent plea that on it dies
And her countenance struggle to contain long repressed fears 

All this he saw and his heart burst asunder. What grave injustice when an angel, too, is forced to live without the one person who gives meaning to her life. The one shining light in her dark and despairing existence. He could see within those endless depths that were her eyes, remnant memories of the long and innumerable nights that she spent weeping over the fact that she had lost him. Her flight to salvation had arrived to save her, but she had overslept.

He had always had a sympathetic heart. When it came to love, his will was always weak. He could not see her this way. Silently, he reached for her notes and then clasped them, dearly, tenderly, to his chest.
Signifying to her that no matter if she be delicate as a paper leaf, he would always be her stapler.

The message was not lost in translation. Immediately, a beautiful radiant flush began to creep up her cheeks, reminiscent of sunrise on a summer retreat in a mountain resort. He could almost hear her heart go aflutter when his finger brushed against hers while taking hold of her notes. Her breathing, usually more imperceptible than calcium deficiency spots on an albino, suddenly began to grow raspy and short. She lowered her gaze immediately and, to his eyes at least, in the same manner as Helen of Troy must have when she first came upon Paris.

But suddenly a terrible thought took hold of his brain. Perceiving the extreme effects his presence was having on her, seeing her in such an excitable state, hearing the rhythm of her heart upset itself, stutter and start over again, he feared for her. The angel was in love, but she possessed not the strength for it. Her heart was weak.

Learned creature of God that hath captured my soul
I prithee, descend not from thine Olympian altar
Stay thee elevated, and keep the heart that thou hath stole
Lest much intimacy betwixt us cause thine own heart to falter

No. It would not do. He would not have the death of such a noble and beautiful creature attached to his being. It would be a scar, a dark, brutal blemish that no future feats or even miracles would conceal.
He spoke as if in a trance. Ignoring the irony that he was teaching a Bhutanese student the need for cultural studies, he pressed on, mechanical in his discourses. However, try as he might to kill the emotion in him, some must have escaped through, for he could see she was not yet rid of the bedazzlement she had fallen under, though she tried to conceal it very well. Her heaving bosom was the only hint of the inward chaos that his presence had wreaked within her. In other respects, she remained chaste as the mother of Jesus.

He had reached the end of the chapter. His eyes made their treacherous journey back to look into her eyes one last time, and when they met, he slipped for just a second.  One second was all it needed. In that one second, the almost feral passion that resided within him gushed forth and inundated his gaze with its intensity.

Nay! Friends, chide him not for his frailty. He, too, is human. He possesses his own set of weaknesses. And such a test as this proved to be one step too far for his heart. It was but a droplet from the ocean of his passion that broke through his defences and entered his eyes, but a grain of sand in the deserts of Egypt, but a leaf in the vast Amazon. Just one fragment, and she was overwhelmed.

Her look, O! Would that Homer were present to witness her expression, a thousand Odysseys would he have sacrificed for the Honor of describing that divine vision. Imperceptibly, she nodded at him, whispering the words loaded with emotion, “Thank you, I understand now.”

And lo, he was at peace. She knew! She had witnessed the abyss that resides within him from whence the molten lava that was his love for her streamed forth. She saw the fire of his emotion, spitting and crackling with the fury of Mars and carrying within them the very flames of hell. Tolkien’s Mount Doom would be put to shame by the splendour that resided within him. Dante would be forced to redefine the term inferno if he were present to witness this spectacle. He knew she had witnessed it, because he could see the reflection of his fiery flames reflected off the sweet moistness that touched her glistening lips.

O! Dread! For those words she spake
That snapped her heart in twain
O! Dread! That for this mortal’s sake
An Angel cries in pain

“Goodbye,” she said.

Usman’s heart raged, roaring in anguish at the prospect of separation. It sent out an animalistic scream that split the very fabric of the atmosphere in two, a primitive cry almost in defiance of every Divine creature from Zeus to Hades, just challenging them to bring a single tear to those incarnations of unfathomable perfection that were Amin’s cheeks.

But that same heart knew that it was necessary to leave, for love’s own sake. He was the forbidden tree in her garden of Eden. She could not possess him without losing herself. And he could not bear to be the reason of her downfall. One original sin was quite enough for a lifetime.

And so it was over.

The greatest flame of love that every burned bright
Was doused before it could even be set alight

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Of the Purpose of Friendship

Today, our planet is miniscule to us. Two things have contributed to this, our knowledge of the size of the universe and our planet’s size relative to it, and the advancement of communication technology.

In earlier, more innocent, or one may argue, more ignorant times, we imagined that this planet was immense, the entirety of the universe maybe.  Now, with the internet becoming a necessity rather than a luxury, no corner of the world is out of reach for us. The planet lies at our fingertips.

While this has its obvious advantages, which I will not get into here, it brings along with it certain complexities that did not previously exist to this degree. I speak of human interaction.

A comic strip I recently read stated that “Happiness is your family staying at least one expensive plane ride away.” The point it made was valid, almost profound. It is too easy for everyone to reach everyone today. Distance is no longer a barrier to contact. And so clarity in dealings with fellow sophisticated primates becomes all the more crucial. One must know what one is doing when maintaining a bond of any kind with one’s fellow beings.
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Social existence was conceived by man, evolutionarily, to improve his chances of survival against nature. We may safely say he succeeded. The fact that his survival is now threatened by these very same social contemporaries does not take away from its success. He has managed to at least alleviate some degree of danger from predators and natural calamities, though it will never be completely alleviated.

 Having banished that problem, the use of relationships evolved. A study of history will reveal that the greatest benefit mans social nature has granted us is the sharing of knowledge. We have, through the cooperation of man with man and the magic of communication, been able to erect monuments, philosophies, technologies and ideologies, not a single one of which could have been created without the platform provided by the men before us. A child in today’s world has access to information that has been in existence and is being collected since as long back as 3000 BC. Before the age of 25, he can acquire information that on his own would not be knowable to him in a million lifetimes. Relationships provide one with the benefit of tackling many different problems at the same time, or tackling the same problem in many different ways. No two men are alike, and therefore, their method of approach must also necessarily be different, the slightness in the degree of deviation is irrelevant. The repeated and ruthless testing of facts by the men of science ensure that we do not rest our research on shaky foundations. They have built us a platform of reinforced titanium. From here the only direction we can go is upward.

So, relationships are then to lead us to a higher form of existence. I speak of higher forms not in the supernatural or religious sense, but in the worldly sense. They are to help make us what we could not be on our own. That is their true purpose.


In each friendship, there is the host (the individual) and the guest (the friend). A friendship may occur when the will or spirit of the host comes into contact with that of the guest. As to what form of friendship results from the meeting, is decided by the nature of their respective wills.

The friend is here referred to as the guest because he requires admittance from the host. In some cases the admittance is given reluctantly, but nevertheless, a “friendship” cannot occur without the host allowing it. The host is breaching the defenses of his self in order to allow the guest in, so that he (the host) may experience and learn things that would not be possible on his own. However, this pre-assumes the admittance was voluntary.

Where the host’s will is much weaker

Abusive: In some cases, the will or spirit of the guest is so overpowering, so overwhelming, so all encompassing in comparison to the host’s own, that the admittance is acquired by sheer force rather than by willful consent. These circumstances, where the host has little or no force of will in comparison to the guest’s, are the ones that give rise to all forms of abusive friendships. The host is, in this case, a helpless pawn. The guest may do with him as he pleases, use him as a tool and then toss him aside when he is no longer useful. No control resides with the host, he is now a passenger. In milder cases, the superior will remains with the inferior just so as to have a constant reminder of his own superiority. It is a perpetual ego boost, if you will. In more extreme cases, there is financial, mental, emotional or physical exploitation. This only takes place when there is a massive difference in force of wills.

Other forms of abusive friendships start off as normal friendships, with the host consenting to admit the guest and a mutual benefit occurring. However, in due course of time, the superiority of the one (the guests’s) becomes apparent over the other(the host’s). The guest, becoming aware of the advantage he possesses, begins to wield his power, testing his limits, taking it further and further, until he has absolute control over the host.

In both forms of abusive relationships, the host is unable to break it off of his own volition. Subconsciously, his will recognizes it is in contact with a higher form, and it craves it and is loathe to break it off. Consciously, this may take the form of fear, reluctance, love, procrastination, or any emotion that will put off the thought of breaking off the friendship from his mind. In these cases, the host remains bound to the guest by choice despite suffering abuse at his hands.

This does not include the cases where there is actual physical intimidation from the guests preventing the host from breaking it off.

Non Abusive: A variation of non abusive relationships that results from this type of meeting of wills is that of the dependant host. This occurs when an inferior host will meets a superior, non malicious guest will. The host, consciously recognizing the superiority of the guest, feels indebted to the guest merely for maintaining the bond. What results is the gradual disintegration of the self esteem, morale and confidence of the host. How long it takes for the process to be complete depends on whether the guest acts to impede the process or help it along. But there is no way to put a stop to the process outside of ending the relationship.

Another type, probably the best possible under the circumstances, is that of the imitator. This occurs when the inferior host meets the non malicious, superior guest and spends the entirety of their relationship in an attempt to bring his inferior will up to the level of the superior. This form of friendship is most beneficial to the host, while not so much for the guest. The host has a living model to replicate, he may observe, study, question, practice all the traits of the superior. He lifts his own self to a height he has never been able to scale before. For a weaker will, this is the only form of friendship with a stronger will that is beneficial and true to its purpose. It is the only form that takes him upward and not downwards.



Where the host’s will is much stronger

A Hollywood movie (Revolver) famously proclaimed that, “The first rule of any game is that you can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent.”

Occasionally, even Hollywood happens upon the truth.

When the will of the host is stronger than the guest’s and yet the guest is let in nonetheless, there can be many precipitating causes. However, outside of boosting one’s self image and reinforcing one’s comfort in one’s own superiority, no relationship of this form yields any true benefit for the host. There may be naïve positives pointed out under the guise of phrases like, “they teach me the beauty of simplicity” or “every man is special in his own way”, but these are empty phrases created to pacify the hearts of those who are vain enough to believe them. One who believes there to be truth in these phrases would also soon believe that Marxism does actually create a classless, sustainable society and environment for the world to live in. And once you have gone down that path, you are lost to logic.

The truth is, when allowing a weaker willed guest, you are diluting your energies. This form of friendship mainly takes place in two scenarios.

The Egotist Friend: This host does not wish to climb higher. His purpose is not elevation. His purpose is impression. He wishes to be considered elevated and achieves his purpose through comparison. He surrounds himself with people who are no equal of his in any way. Instead of striving to achieve a higher existence, he strives instead to feel higher by mingling with the minions. This may achieve the desired result as far as he is concerned. Within his circle, he may be considered with a certain amount of respect, admiration and maybe even awe. However, for our purposes, as far as the true purpose of friendship is concerned, he has achieved nothing. In the best possible outcome, he will have stagnated. In the worst outcome, he will have degraded himself to the point where he no longer deserves the tag of the “superior”, no matter what he is perceived to be. In short, he will have received credit for something that he is not. And how commonly we perceive this tragic phenomenon!

The Charitable Friend: The second scenario takes place when the host, knowing it is stronger, better placed or higher, call it what you will, condescends to befriend the lowly guests, not out of a feeling of self aggrandizement, not out of egotistical ulterior motives, but out of a belief that because it resides on a higher plane, it is somehow duty bound to help others get to that plane as well. The age old dogma that man owes a debt to mankind and must do everything he can to help his fellow beings even at the cost of himself. The motives behind this form of friendship may be noble (If they are genuine at all), however, that does not make them correct. Not in the least. Whenever a will is concentrated downwards, whether for positive or negative reasons, the outcome is always negative on the whole.
Yes, its condescension may have lifted a few paltry guest wills to a slightly better plane, but the duty of the higher will resides in forging a new path, so that the rest may follow more easily. Not in personally carrying the incapable on one’s back and being bogged down by their crippledness. This form of friendship is the most dangerous to the higher will and to humankind at large, because it is regarded as nobility, humility, charitability. In short, it is praised. And thus reinforces the downward course of the higher will.

It is worth considering that this kind of action may be so highly praised because the mob subconsciously always strives to discourage individuals from rising alone too far above the pack, and in this way they cover their malice and insecurity in a cloak of admiration.

When the host is equal to the guest

Neutral wills: This is one of the most commonly found forms of friendship amongst humankind. And unsurprisingly, it is one that does not involve much thought. All the other forms mentioned above and that will be mentioned below, whatever their positives or negatives, had at least this to their credit, that they had a logical thought process behind them. Whether the thought was conscious or subconscious, malicious or gratuitous is immaterial. The thinking was existent and so it lent itself to some purpose. This form of friendship, however, is a thoughtless one. Instinctual, comfortable, easy. One could almost say natural, if only its outcome was not completely counter natural. When a host meets a guest whose will is exactly its equal, but the host derives no effect nor produces any upon the guest, but the both of them merely coexist exactly as they are, that is what is known as the Neutral Will friendship. It is an anesthetic, a zombie mode, if you will. There is no purpose served by this except to while away time, alleviate loneliness, distract one from the harshness of realities. Maybe have a shoulder to cry on. One may even argue that is all one needs from friendship. But again, standing above the narrow, naïve short termed perspective, one must recognize the error in this thinking and guard oneself into falling into this rut. No form of stagnation can ever be productive. And when one is not moving forward, one is always falling behind.

Binary Star
In space, binary stars are two stars that have attached themselves to each other through a common centre of mass. They neither collide with each other, nor do they move apart, but are eternally bonded with each other through their respective gravitational pulls and as a result spend eternity spiraling through space, ever locked in an almighty embrace with each other.

I can find no better analogy to explain the last two forms of friendships, and possibly the two most important ones.

Downward Binaries:
Herein lies the most dangerous form of friendship. When two wills of equal might collide, and the host cannot overpower the guest nor allow itself to be overpowered, then two situations may arise. This is the first of them, and the deadliest of all the forms. In the Downward Binary scenario, the host and the guest attach themselves to each other, and from then on ensues what are commonly known as mutually destructive relationships. One complements the other perfectly, but only the negative sides. Neither will is able to bring forth its positive side, and on the other hand, the negative traits of both wills are reinforced. Friendships of this kind are capable of bringing down the highest of wills, and in each case it results in a double tragedy, because not one, but two will spiral down to their annihilation in unison. They each find justification for their actions in the support of the other, and they in turn dispel any doubts that the other may have about the course their lives are taking. They walk hand in hand and willfully traipse towards oblivion, and barring divine intervention, very few forced on earth can stop them.

Upward Binaries: Herein lies the treasure, the arkenstone of friendships. This form is rare, one is lucky if one encounters it even once in a lifetime. Multiple occurrences are almost unheard of. An Upward Binary is a friendship that results when the host admits a guest of equal might, and the two lock themselves in the binary girp. However their spiral goes not down, but up. From the beginning to the very end, this form of friendship serves no purpose but to spur both host and guest on to immeasurable heights. Neither will would be capable of scaling half as high on its own, however every time one falters, the other is there to spur him on, and so on and so forth to eternity. The binary stars may be dissimilar or identical, complementary or clone like, the medium of elevation differs. However, what does not differ is the result. The result leaves both spellbound. And very often leaves something behind them that holds the whole world enthralled. Separating the two is just as improbable as in the case of the Downward Binaries. And truly, to take the analogy further, the binary system is only broken when the stars perish. And usually, when one persishes, the other is not long behind. This bond is more sacred than love, than honor, than loyalty, even dignity. This bond is the only one that succeeds completely in achieving what is, in the end, the true purpose of friendship.

Thursday, 16 October 2014

The Birth of the Universe

Humans, you have searched for the answer to your existence from time immemorial. You have made many fantastic tales, mythologies and fables in a desperate attempt to make sense of what is a sometimes unfathomable and chaotic cosmos. To the uninitiated mind, indeed it looks a complete mess. However, of late, some of you have evolved mentally to the point where you have begun to perceive the patterns, the symmetry in my creation.

The argument over whether I exist or not still rages fierce all over the world. It has cost so many lives, destroyed so much knowledge. So much unnecessary carnage. And from a race such as yours too, that possessed such unlimited potential.  And to think that all this while the answer was right in front  of you. Like the answers to the best riddles, the answer to this one too, is the simplest. So simple that it never occured to you.

You assumed a universe that you took millenia to even begin to understand, must have begun from something equally complex, if not more. However, there you are making a huge assumption,  and in science, assumptions are criminal.

The demonstration of the falsity of this assumption is you yourself. When life began, you were an organic molecule. You were a dna that began replicating itself on a molecular level. And look at you now. Much is said about the near impossibility of the evolutionary creation of something as perfect as the human eye.However, what you fail to understand is that, given enough time, perfection is easily attained.

It took four billion years for a single cell organism to progress to the wide diversity of life you witness today, including your own species. Four billion years rolls off the tongue easily, but have you ever paused to actually consider the magnitude of time it indicates?

So, coming back to my original point, if in four billion years, a cell can multiply into all the forms of living existence that you have witnessed or will do so in future, is it so hard to imagine a similarly simple beginning for the universe? The universe is roughly 14 billion years old. That is a long time to multiply and diversify even from the humblest origin.

But where, you ask, is the answer to the riddle of my existence?  If I claim to be creator, where am I now? Why, you ask in outrage, do I turn a blind eye to all the horrors that are perpetrated on earth? Where is god and why does he not show himself?

The answer to this, and the implications of it as a consequence,  force me to term this turn of events as tragic. One man amongst you even stumbled upon the answer,  but I do not think even he knew what he meant exactly when he said it.

God is dead.

Not in a metaphorical way, not killed by the evil of man or loss of faith or any such triviality. Simply dead. God's immortality is the first and most terrible lie, and the one with most far reaching consequences. For it is this lie that necessitated the fabrication of all the other lies.

If I was immortal,  then there needed to be an explanation for my inaction in the face of worldwide despair. If I was immortal, then there had to be a grander plan I had in mind that justified what was happening to this world. All the fanciful embellishments that religions and scriptures endowed upon me stemmed from this one lie. This is the actual Original Sin. This is what really caused the fall of man. This is what will eventually be your bane.

I am mortal. I am just as mortal as you, as every other life form, and even as every inanimate object. Stars shine and then destruct. Planets form and then destruct. Entire galaxies thrive and then capsize. And all that once lived, dies. Are you so blind to the cosmic cycle? Can you not see that everything has a beginning and an end and only differs in the comparative duration of its lifetime? Why did you feel the need to exempt me from this rule? Does a creator have to live as long as its creation? Is the Mona Lisa not still revered though Da Vinci has long since ceased to exist? Do we not still marvel at Nietzsche's profundity though his body lies decomposing in the earth? Is there not a parallel almost everywhere you look?

Nay, but you have not seen the true parallel yet. You make a mistake in my role. You assign me the role of a mother with regards to my creation. But I, in fact, am the father.

Allow me to elaborate.

In your species, what role does the father play in the creation of the child? Almost none except the initial spark. The big bang, as it were. The injection of sperm. He provides the spark and then he leaves. His job is done. After that, the mother, the receptacle, assumes the responsibility of creation. She holds in her womb the raw material that will in nine months time reveal itself a full fledged human being. She feeds it from her own body, shelters it under her own skin, fueled by her own heartbeat.

There is no more accurate or apt analogy in all of existence.

In the cosmic scale, I am the father. Nature is the mother. I was what you scientists call "the first cause". The big bang. That was me. That was the injection. As soon as that was done, my role was over. After that, nature took over completely. Nature guided you through the eternities of space and time, separating, fusing, colliding, exploding, condensing,  evaporating. All of the apparent chaos was in fact a carefully thought out plan. Nature fostered exactly the conditions you would need to thrive. And you are not the only ones who have. Countless planets share your fate.

However, returning to the analogy of us as parents, I as a father, provided all the material you would require to exist and survive. Nature, as a mother, more tender in her love and so also more volatile in her anger, gave you instinct. Your greatest weapon. The ability to retain and pass on information through genes. She did that,  and much more. You really had no choice but to thrive. She made sure of that.

You came close to the truth many times, none more so than when you named her Mother Nature. She is your mother indeed, but a parent can do only so much.

A parent's task is this: To provide a healthy and rich environment for the child to grow in. To equip the child with all the tools and knowledge required to survive and thrive.  And finally, to ensure that the child is eventually strong enough to live independently,  on its own merit, and repeat the process of reproduction and upbringing and take the species forward.

 This is the parental criteria demanded almost universally.  And we have fulfilled all of these. If, in spite of all the best and quite frankly admirable efforts of the parent, the child still turns out rotten to its core, the parent must not be blamed though it is done commonly enough. We gave you everything you needed to become an almighty race. Sustainable for billions of years, not mere millenia. But you turned around and spat in its face. You spurned every lifeline thrown your way. And O! Irony of ironies, you did it in my name.

Lies! Calumny! Blasphemy! What blame lies with us? Us who gave you everything and more. Nay, turn your finger inwards, human, the blame lies with you. I, your father, have long since perished. Like you, like the universe, like everything, I too had an end. I could not intervene when you spread lies about me. I could not show you where this path of falsity led. I could not stop you when you turned on each other. I was not there for the proverbial Kane and Abel murder. I was not even there when the first homo sapiens wandered on the earth's surface. I was long since gone. A father who hoped he had done enough to secure for his child a bright future.

How miserably I have failed. And you call me omnipotent. HAH! There is no joke crueler than this.

This, humans, is the truth of the universe. It is useless to me. I am dead now. Do with it what you will.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Oedipus was from Stockholm

Introductory notes

Oedipus complex: According to Sigmund Freud, every child (in this case I deal with only the male child) posesses an innate complex because of which the child feels sexually attracted to his mother. The mind, in most cases, succeeds in repressing it and later dealing with it in other ways (identification and emulation of paternal traits), however,  in the primary stages, it is nevertheless manifest.

Stockholm syndrome: Also known as trauma bonding, stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomena which causes the victim of a hostage situation to express empathy, sympathy, positive feelings or even love towards one's captor. There are other causes or cases, too, but this particular type is of relevance.

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Now, then, the Oedipus complex is innate in all of us. If so, whence does it come? I believe the answer has today been unlocked. And here, free of charge, it shall be revealed to you in the name of science. Imagine yourself waking up suddenly in a prison. You dont remember anything before this, this prison is all you know.

All around you loud noises, white noise they call it in the world outside. But you know no fancy lingo, you know no lingo at all. You cannot speak, comprehend, or indeed form any coherent thoughts. All you see is red walls, moving, pulsing, throbbing.  Sounds that should scare you, but instead they soothe you. Weirdly, you feel one with them. As if your very existence had been initiated right here, attached by the navel to this strange contraption. It is all very comfortable and nice. But you want more. You are human, you want your freedom.

You kick out. No cigar. The fortress is so impenetrable,  they didn't feel the need to leave guards. You rest, once in a while kicking out in frustration,  but otherwise silent. You brood in anger. This is kidnapping. This is solitary confinement. Are you to endure this forever? What fate worse than this? Thus are your thoughts in the beginning.

 But gradually, unnoticeably, a change begins to occur within you. You begin to identify yourself with the prison. You begin to understand it. A primal sort of understanding that you yourself cannot understand. But you understand this much, you love it. Whatever this entity is, whatever its reasons for keeping you in captivity, all that is irrelevant. You love your captor. Not just any old love either. One of longing. Not platonic, quite the opposite. You thirst for it, and while it is around you, you are in heaven. Bliss knows no bounds. Such pleasures are only sung about in dreamy songs by dreamier poets. (Stockholm syndrome)

But whats this,  your own private pool begins to drain. Your whole world thrown into turmoil. You begin to feel the walls contract around you. You are being evicted!  The fall of man all over again. Paradise was yours and now it is yours no longer. But this time the fault was not yours. You did not eat of the forbidden tree. Who then, was punishing you, and for what?

 Life was punishing you. And life never needs a reason to.

Suddenly you find yourself in a hideously brightly lit world. You hear shrieks of all pitches. You cannot understand what is happening. All you want is to go back. Back to paradise. The creature, clad all in white, strikes you sharply. Such pain you have never known before. You cry out in anguish. Anguish of the physical pain mingled with your grief at being forced from your former place into this horrid existence.  Despair threatens to rend your vocal chords from your throat. Amongst all this chaos, you hear a sweet voice ring out. Sweeter than any melody you will ever know. You feel two arms welcome you within their grasp. They are not brutal on you, like the man in white. They are soft, gentle, tender. Such care you recognize immediately.  It is her. Your captor. All your feelings of love, lust, passion, rush forth until you are drained. Drained of all energy. You fall asleep to her singing, lilting tone, clinging to her for dear life. She is all you will ever love. (Oedipus complex)

When you grow up, you will hide it. It is considered shameful. Taboo. You will suppress it. People will give it funny names, oedipus complex they will call it. They'll scoff at it. Call it disgusting, disturbing, gross even. But each of them have felt it too. It resides in every one. Oedipus complex borne out of stockholm syndrome.

Abnormal, say they?

If she be not fair for me
What care I how fair she be?

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Off The Brink

The call has ended, the words are said
I stand dumbfounded, my world collapses
My heart aflutter, my tears run red
In contemplation,  eternity elapses

Maternal love and Divine belief
Destroys all pleasure before my eyes
The soul thus burdened, seeking relief
Knows no other recourse, it cries

The abyss open armed invites
It sets no conditions on its love
It promises no lofty flights
No hell below, nor heaven above

Fate too, throws her hat in the ring
Serenading the beauty of my crime
As I hesitate, I hear her sing
"This could be the last time"

A step forward, and I'm on the edge
Adrenaline races through my veins
Death, as is Its privilege
Dismisses me, and takes the reins

Just as I reach out to greet
Oblivion, Death bids me, "Think,
Are not you succumbing to defeat
By accompanying me off this brink?"

Wisdom, through chaos, shines forth at last
Sweet wisdom, where had you gone?
I step back inside, the moment has passed
A broken man, yes, but I live on

Friday, 26 September 2014

The Idiot

The genius lived in a perpetual state of bliss
Ignorant, as always, as his world goes amiss
He reproaches his fellow men with unadulterated glee
"Of what account the rest," he says, "merely humanity."

If man and he fight, it must be man that is wrong
Their culture is inferior, for they sing not his songs
He wishes to set ablaze his torch amidst the grey sea
"I will be exalted above," says he, "below me, humanity."

He disregards the very minds that provide him his fuel
Indiscriminate, he burns through his meagre accrual
He sowed then what he reaped by his hatred of charity
He lost his source of sustenance,  he lost humanity

But his kind are not reasoned with, and forever remain
Slaves to their cognition, and the same old strain
Repeatedly is struck in their path to insanity
Who is thus proven wiser, them or humanity?

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

The Puppet

The puppet, strung up, made to move ever faster
With time rises proficiency, it overtakes its master
It craves the open air, it wants to test its wings
The master cackles, "Fool, you know not what Fate brings"

The puppet contemplates, it perceives the word
As just another string to tie it to the herd
It writhes hard, breaking at last free from its strings
And then pauses, shivering, wondering what Fate brings

The master turns pale, he grabs at the puppet in vain
For the puppet's freedom signals the end of his reign
It cannot be caught now, in full flight it sings
"Come on, then, Master, let me see what Fate brings"

Fate brought death, destruction, chaos and woe
The master gazed on and spoke to the world, "Lo!
Learn your lesson here, all you puppets with wings
If you choose to test them, this is what Fate brings."

Friday, 19 September 2014

Insanity

So today, a dear friend tells me
I'm on my way to insanity
I wonder if it is melancholic fate
Or something I should celebrate

Friedrich Nietzsche,  my personal God
These very paths to insanity trod
Who am I, then, to turn away
And journey instead to intellectual decay?

I will not, I cannot,  I must not allow
Myself to be distracted, least of all now
When I possess those same words in my mind
That Nietzsche sacrificed his sanity to find

The same chords he struck then, today I will strum
Of what account then, my death in an asylum?
Lunacy is my lot, insane I must become
Not normal, not conforming, not humdrum

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

The Girl I Never Met

Such influence only true love may beget
When a heart holds on to what the brain forgets
It pines nightly, still, for the girl who
In my lifetime I havent even met

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

The Sieve


I hold the Fates bound fast in iron chains
And with my hand turns Fortune's wheel about
-Tamburlaine, Christopher Marlowe



Usman glared up in defiance at the sun, beating down on him as he set out for his day of sieving. He would not be cowed by mere nature. He had battled these elements before, and they hadn’t succeeded in breaking him. They wouldn’t succeed now. Today, he would change the fate of the world.

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He had read, in the plays of Ancient Greece, of the concept of hubris. The idea that if man built himself too high, the Gods would take it as a challenge to their divinity and strike him down. It was a common theme in many cultures and religious texts, always discouraging man from rising too far above the pack. Leave it to the Gods to be Godlike, mankind must be human. Or, as Nietzsche says, All Too Human.

It occurred to him that maybe he was guilty of the same. His contempt for nature, for anything he couldn’t control, for all the chaos he encountered on his long walks everyday, could very well be equated to a God’s anger on finding that his subjects are running amok. He wondered if he was setting himself up to be struck down. But he was too far-gone to have any doubts anymore. He shrugged, picked up his bag, and set off again, muttering curses to the sun as he walked.

The streets of Bangalore seemed different on days like this. The city-dwellers were unused to sunlight, and it clearly showed on their faces. The populace gazed, flustered, at the yellow harbinger of discomfort. They cursed, then turned their heads and spat in disgust. Usman noticed all the nuances of their mannerisms. He had been studying them for years. He could almost predict what a certain person would do in a certain situation. What his tone of voice would be, how he would use his hands to emphasize his displeasure, and how he would use volume to discourage any who disagreed with his opinion from voicing theirs. He learnt to read people’s faces, being able to judge at a glance whether the object of his study had any substance or was all bluff. All of this, Usman learnt with the help of the art of sieving.

Usman had come to Bangalore at the age of fourteen. A naïve, innocent young man, unaware of the awakening that was waiting around the corner, waiting to strike down every belief he had ever held with ruthless efficiency. Throughout high school and college, Usman remained unaware. The forces remained insidious, there was nothing he could see or feel that needed guarding against. He gradually found his hobbies being modified and fine-tuned as if to serve a higher purpose. One that was as yet unknown to him.

He lost interest in much that was earlier dear to him, and acquired a whole spectrum of interests that just a few months ago would not have warranted a second glance from him. He would ordinarily have attributed these changes as part and parcel of the normal evolution of a boy into a man, however the sheer coherence and sense of direction of all the changes, a direction in which he himself had no say, often caused him to think he was being puppeteered. He renounced religion, renounced charity and social work, and gradually renounced anything in which too much emotional investment was required. His relationships, until then at least on the fringes of normalcy, suffered heavily from these changes, and he soon became a recluse. And an enthusiastic one at that.

The activity he enjoyed most under the new scheme of things, was his daily walks. He took longer and longer walks, and more and more often. He walked aimlessly, with quick, long steps, never looking at the road, never looking at the sky. On these walks he would look only at the people. The people of Bangalore were the subject of his study. For hours on end, he would walk up and down a street, noticing people and their endless variations in speech styles, expressions and body language. The limitless stimulation of deciphering the lies from the truths, the exaggerations from the understatements, the fakeness from the genuine, fascinated Usman.

Once he got home, he would recall those who had used their speech and body language to greatest effect, those whose words had had the most impact, those who had been the most successful in holding his attention. He would recall them and then he would copy them. The hand gestures, so alien to the shy boy who had entered this city as a teenager, now became second nature to the swiftly transforming adult. The key to this method lay in his own judgment. He would only focus his attention on those who were exceptional. Mediocrity could not lay claim to even a small percentage of his time. His judgment improved everyday as he refined his scales of judgment with the help of the infallible knowledge acquired by experience. In this way, he absorbed only the best, and anything falling short of that standard was remorselessly cast aside. “Let through only what is pure, discard the rest. I am a sieve, and this is the art of sieving,” Usman thought to himself.

He started testing his newfound skills in his university, making speeches in his classroom, participating in debates, elocution contests. He found none anywhere who could match his talent, he had no equal. It was then that it struck Usman that he had hit upon the golden solution. He started branching out in the things he was looking for. Once again, the direction of his searches seemed dictated TO him rather than BY him. He was automatically drawn to personalities that possessed a commanding aura. The kind of people who could silence a room just by walking into it. He had already mastered their speech techniques, now he began to concentrate on other things. The kind of clothes they wore, how they walked, when they spoke and when they were silent. He started concentrating on the content of their speeches rather than the style, their opinions, their beliefs, their values.

In the course of a week, Usman would hear around twenty or thirty contradicting views on the same subject. He would go home everyday, think hard on the subject, consider each person’s argument, try and see it his way, iron out any contradictions, and have a coherent, logical conviction at the end. One built out of the fragments of conversations his ear had stolen from his daily walks. But the monument that was his collection of fragments seemed to him much more beautiful, flawless and profound than any of the mundane buildings he had borrowed the fragments from.

Soon, he started noting down books that were being referred to by the best of the speakers. While hanging around inconspicuously, he would note down any book that the person in question recommended. Some days he would get extremely lucky and would sit in on a conversation between a group of friends all discussing the books that had impacted them the most. On those days he went home with a smile plastered on his face, and the names of forty or fifty books scribbled hurriedly into his notebook. He began visiting the library and borrowing those books most frequently recommended. He ran through them at a terrifying pace, spurred on by his desire to emulate those he saw, to sieve the best this world had to offer. He read of all the personalities that had shaken the world with their words or deeds. He did not discriminate on the basis of morality, he had long since learnt that morality was a word bandied about by the weak. No, morality had no place in his thought process, his only judging standard was that of impact.

Usman had, by now, completely immersed himself in this pursuit. He hadn’t been to college in a month, he neglected daily formalities such as hygiene and grooming. He would awake, wash the sleep out of his eyes, and set out for the day. He would eat at a café, sitting for hours, hunting out the type of people he could wean some more valuable tidbits from. He learnt the kind of places he was more likely to encounter his chosen objects of study. When he found one particularly interesting, he would follow him around all day. For this, Usman had to learn another skill, the skill of camouflage. He learnt how to stay within earshot of a group, and yet remain unnoticed. Hiding in plain sight. Not one of the people he spied on and studied ever knew of his existence.

But the walks began to take their toll on his appearance. Once plump and jolly looking, Usman thinned out and his face grew long and haggard, a bushy beard running wild upon his face. He wore the same clothes for days on end, and after three or four days, his clothes were brown from muck and dust collected from his daily travels. A casual observer may have mistaken him for a beggar or a homeless person, but one who possessed a keen eye would have noticed his proud gait and glint of intelligence in his eyes, and realized it was not so. Usman, however walked just as resolutely as ever, oblivious to what the world thought of him. He had sieving to do.

Months passed this way, Usman’s name was stricken off from his college records. He had failed to attend any classes that semester. His parents, who lived in Kashmir, were notified. They were shocked to say the least. Usman had been a good student all his life, they had never needed to force him to study or attend classes, and besides, his degree was one of his own choosing. When they called him to find out what was going on, they heard a strange voice on the other end of the line. It sounded like their son, but his manner of speaking, his accent, the forcefulness of his words, all were new to them. His father, alarmed by the great chasm that seemed to separate his son from himself, attempted to strong arm his way back. He threatened Usman to return at once to Kashmir, or else his monthly allowance would be cut off immediately.

Usman smiled, muttered an enigmatic farewell to his father, and disconnected the phone. He never spoke to his parents again.

Now he was on his own. On one hand, that meant he had to arrange for his own sustenance, which would require some skilled maneuvering. But, on the other hand, the last of his fetters had been removed. He was now free to soar the heights that his genetic wingspan would allow him to lift himself to. He could now maximize his potential.

Usman took all the belongings that were indispensable to him from his apartment, his clothes, books and his beloved mirror. All of them fit in one large bag. He walked the crowded streets of Bangalore, ever vigilant, on the lookout for an oyster that would unintentionally drop a pearl of wisdom into his lap. Something he could absorb, something he could imitate. He found a spot on one of his favored streets, hid his bag behind some bushes and sat down to survey his beat. This was his new home.

Now the time for self-education was approaching its close. It was time for his internship. He began to use all the tools he had perfected through months of practice, and he used them to terrible effect. He would single out a weak shopkeeper, speak in his most forceful, most enchanting words, until the man lay quivering at Usman’s mercy. He would then take what he needed, just the bare minimum, and leave with a polite word of thanks and a promise to return again soon. He would placate one to hand him a free meal, another to buy him a cigarette. He would intimidate one to buy him some fresh juice, and outright threaten another to fix his tattered shoes. A streetside barber would cut his hair and shave his beard for free in return for the many fantastic tales Usman spun while seated at his chair. It brought more customers to the shop, it was good for business.

Usman’s years of watching people with unwavering concentration taught him just which route to take to control which people. Suddenly the whole of Bangalore seemed at his mercy. He could get whatever he wanted, from whomever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Humanity stretched out in front of him like a vast garden of Eden, just there to be harvested. But he was the God here, there was no fruit forbidden to him.

His daily sustenance thus arranged for, Usman decided to see just how far his powers could go. He started aiming higher, became more ambitious with his targets. He walked into a newspaper company, demanding that he be allowed to speak to the manager, he was here for a walk-in interview. (He had convinced the guy at the launderette to wash and iron his suit for free as a “special favor”. It was his third special favor that month)

The manager looked up impatiently, telling Usman they were not recruiting anyone for the time being. Usman spoke, his words hitting all its targets. He could visualize himself as a sniper sitting high above the battle in his tower of ivory, merely picking off his defenseless victims at will. They had no escape, this manager stood no chance. Ten minutes later, he was offering Usman a job as a senior editor. Usman smiled, turned and walked out of the building. He was never seen in the office again.

“People,” thought Usman, “are the same everywhere. Those higher up are no better than the ones below them. They may have built up huge fortresses, but their fortresses lie on the same shaky foundations. Just as susceptible to attack from one who knows where to strike.”

Every day Usman returned from his walks, he came back to his spot and looked at himself in the mirror. He had done so habitually for years now, and the changes he had noticed were merely physical. He had been plump, now he was thin. He had been fair, now he was tanned. But now, he began to notice something else. He seemed to himself sub-human. Ethereal. He seemed to be almost translucent. Unable to look at himself, he instead ended up looking through himself. Every single day he seemed further away from his physical being, as if he had removed himself from humanity.

The full extent of his ability was still not clear to him. Perhaps it never would be. Every time he turned a new corner, a whole new world of possibilities opened up to him. He now understood the sense of power Adolf Hitler must have felt when he gave his speech at Nurnberg. The intoxication was tremendous. No wonder Hitler got carried away.

He delved deeper into the world of men, trying to see where he would meet his match. Higher and higher, still unchallenged. He felt like a rocket that launched, expecting resistance and gravitational pull, but encountered none and so shot endlessly upwards into space.

He began targeting the elite. The brilliant, the powerful, the geniuses. The very people he had observed during his college days, the very people who gave him all the tools he now possessed, were made the target of his experiments. They crumbled before him and gave way meekly. Each victory made Usman more belligerent. He played games with himself, setting himself handicaps, each riskier than the last, and always getting away with it. Vainly he looked for a peer, a fellow commander, but he found only obedient slaves. Just waiting for him to come and take control. Fate may have puppeteered him into this position, but he was now the puppet master for all of humanity. He was the Superman, the Ubermensch, the Superior One. Was he not God-like? What was God, if not this?

He mocked at the Greeks. There was no accountability for hubris. Nothing could strike him down. There were none remaining that could withstand him.

Usman now realized the end was not far. On finding all of mankind beneath him, he quickly began losing interest in them. The faces that had presented riddles and puzzles to his youthful mind, now seemed predictable and uninteresting. It was as if one were asked to solve a crossword puzzle that one had already solved many times before. There was nothing in existence that could challenge him, the world lay at his mercy, what was he to do with it?

A movie he watched recently indicated that when one amasses knowledge of such gigantic proportions, the duty of mankind is to pass it on for the future generations. “Possibly,” thought Usman, “that is what mankind should do. But I have long since ceased to belong to that species. I do not think I will follow that course. Besides, who amongst them has the ability to comprehend what I have to say?”

He sat at his spot on the sidewalk for three days, only pausing to eat or drink. He meditated upon all the pros and cons of each course of action. His own argumentative skills turned upon himself, he found himself engaged in an almighty debate. Here, then was his only competition. Himself.

At the end of the three days, it was decided. He lay on the sidewalk, exhausted from the immense mental exertion. He took another three days to recuperate.

Then he arose, packed all his belongings into a large garbage bag, slung it over his shoulder, and left. The first thing he did was hitchhike his way away from Bangalore. Bangalore was too sane to be the flashpoint for his plans. He needed more chaos. He travelled North.

On reaching the city of his choice, he settled down and for a week or two, got his eyes accustomed to the filth. Not the filth on the roads, but the filth in people’s minds. Bangalore seemed to him like a paradise compared to this supposed Metropolis. His task would be easier than he anticipated, it seemed.

By the end of the month, Usman had his finger on the pulse of the city. He knew what made it tick, and what swayed the masses. He knew the political situation, the economic situation, the ideological minorities and majorities. He identified every aspect of life in the city, and then every element that affected those aspects. He felt like a veteran surgeon, so comfortable with the human anatomy, that he could operate blindfolded. Usman was the surgeon of human souls.

He waited, patiently, for the opportune moment, he knew it wouldn’t be long before it presented itself. And he was not wrong. A muslim had been murdered. A holy festival was coming up. Communal tension was high. This was it.

He dressed himself appropriately, his bushy beard swaying gracefully beneath his face. He had been growing this one for months now. As he walked into the mosque, he gauged the mood of the people. Everything was perfect. All they needed was a gentle push and they’d do the rest. He sat patiently as the Imam spoke, shaking his head disdainfully at the old man’s sincere, but misguided efforts at preaching peace to the mass. This was not in keeping with the public mood, it just made them more restless. It played right into his hands. He stood up, and he began to speak.

Knowing this was the beginning of the end, he spared no effort. He poured years of passion and learning into his words, picking only those which would rankle in the minds of his audience. He touched on all the topics that would incense them, but not in a way that seemed provocative. He let his words take their own form and advance on the public. None amongst the crowd that day would remember his face, at best they’d have a vague, hazy image of his in their heads, but not a single soul, man, boy or child, would forget a single word he spoke. Their hearts were moved, their brains blockaded, they were putty in his hands, and he molded them into a blind weapon. The effect was terrible, the horde, not even waiting to offer the prayers they came to the mosque for, gave an almighty roar and ran out into the streets. Men picked up any kind of weapons they could find around them, the children followed excitedly, unsure of what was to follow, but curious to find out. Usman watched in silence from the confines of the mosque. He did not move a muscle, merely observed the work of his minions. The whole mosque was empty, except for the Imam, the peace loving fool.

Predictably, the riot caused a backlash. The victims sought revenge, and the bloodlust remained for days. It was not new to this city, communal riots happened once every few years, and always died out in a few days. But this time a curious thing happened. Just when it seemed that the fighting was about to die down, a fresh mob would appear, sometimes from a mosque, sometimes from a temple, screaming in angst and rage, baying for blood. And always, in the place from where the mob had poured forth, an observer would find a tall, dark, lean man, fully bearded, watching quietly with a twinkle in his eye and the hint of a smile on his face.

Two months passed, and the city had been brought to its knees. The streets, once jam-packed with cars, stalls and city dwellers, now lay empty and bare except for a few overturned vehicles burnt to a crisp and shattered to smithereens. None dared to leave the streets for fear of getting mobbed by another rioting group of men. People left the city in droves, shaking their heads in disbelief in how quickly their lives had disintegrated.

Usman watched with grim satisfaction. This was the first time his mind had been this excited since the day he had had the debate with himself. This was his stimulation. And this was the fate of the world.

He continued from one city to the next, always spending a day or two to identify the flashpoints. Always waiting for the perfect moment to strike. With time he got better, some cities crumbled to dust within a day or two. The world looked on helplessly. There seemed no pattern. No unifying reason for all these outbreaks of violence. Each city seemed to choose its own reason to break into warfare. How was one to prepare for that? Taking their cue from India, people all over the world began rioting and taking up arms in revolt against any cause they saw fit. Chaos, it seemed, was contagious.

The warring spread like wildfire, being religiously inspired in some places, economically inspired elsewhere. The whole world split itself into opposing factions, not only externally, but internally as well. Each country was at war with another country while trying to prevent a rampant civil war within its own borders. And every time a resolution seemed imminent, a mysterious force would appear, spurring on the people to rebellion all over again. As if a malicious wind refused to let the turbines of slaughter stop turning.

For four years, every country poured its heart and soul into the destruction of another country, the populace gave up their lives for any cause that was trending at the moment. Alliances were forged and forgotten in an instant. No one was sure of just where they stood. The tower of mankind, the sum total of 4 billion years of evolution, stood tottering on unsteady ground. Each time it sought to steady itself, a bearded man would appear to destabilize it again.

Eventually, inevitably, it fell. The world was brought to its knees, each country lay in ruins, its people lay dead or dying. All the causes they fought for died along with the last of them. No monument, no “wonder of the world”, no library, no testament to mankind’s achievement survived the world war. The only evidence that civilization ever existed lay in the symmetrical ruins left behind all over the world.

Amongst the ruins of the world, Usman walked quietly, enjoying the solitude.
He looked upon all the havoc he had wreaked. All without lifting a finger himself. Pride swelled his heart, but with it, also recognition that it was all over.

He stood atop a ruined monument, his silhouette framed against the sun. That same sun that had meekly attempted to stop him on the fateful day he left Bangalore.

He looked into his mirror one last time. He was no longer translucent, no longer ethereal. He was solid, physical, opaque. He was all that remained, everything else had faded away.

“I have let through only that which is pure. I have discarded all the rest. I am a sieve, and this is the art of sieving.”